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TEEN WORRIES: My ‘break-up’ tests may have backfired


MY boyfriend’s dad seems to be pressuring him to end our relationship. I’m
panicking about what to do.

I’m 16 and he’s 17 and we met online. He lives a long way from me so we don’t
see each other that often. We’ve been going out for 10 months.

I know I’m controlling but it’s because I’m insecure and I don’t want to lose
him. I twice said I was going to break up with him but then changed my mind.
I guess I was testing him. I wanted to see his reaction and to discover
whether he really wanted us to be together.

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I start arguments with him for no reason. He talked to his dad about it and
he said, “If it’s not going to last, end it as soon as possible”.

My boyfriend said to me: “Perhaps Dad’s right and we should split up.” I was
gutted.

I promised I would stop being controlling and I would stop talking about
marriage and kids because it is far too much in the future – but that is
what I do. I like to plan things.

He said we can see how it goes until I visit him next month, but then texted
me, “I’m sorry. I do love you and we have got a future together.” He said he
didn’t know what he was thinking.

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Now I don’t know if he really loves me and it is bugging me. I just want
things to be right between us. What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS

Just relax! You’re expecting too much too soon. You both have so much living
to do before you contemplate marriage and children. You’ve got your studies
and careers to think about. While it’s great fun dating, there are other
things which make life fulfilling.

Go out with your friends nearer home, explore new interests and hobbies.

Maybe you have grown up with a background of unsettled relationships and this
has made you strive to have everything perfect. But life isn’t like that and
you have to take the rough with the smooth.

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Talking through your worries may help and Get Connected help under 25s with
any problem (www.getconnected.org.uk,
0808 808 4994).

I’m also emailing you my leaflet Learning About Relationships which should
help you to take your relationship at a steadier pace.

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